Science Fair

I know I’m not the only one who has created their own “language” with family and friends. I’ve done it for as long as I can remember. For example, my best friend (since 6th grade!) and I call each other “Bird.” ALL THE TIME. When we call on the phone. When we’re at dinner. ALL the time. 

It comes from the “pretty bird” scene in Dumb and Dumber. I believe we rewound that part of the movie about 80 trillion times that night at her house, laughing so hard we cried. From that evening, “Bird” was born. And it stuck, even 16 years later.  ;)

My husband and I don’t even call each other by our names. It’s usually a variety of cute, loving, puke-inducing terms instead. We have also picked up phrases over the years that mean something to us but no one else would ever know.

Translation = when we are at the store and talk to each other, I’m quite sure folks think we are either foreign or just nuts.

This brings me to “science fair.” It’s a term our friend Mike made up a new meaning for years ago. It basically means a total, complete MESS.

Like, “Wow, that traffic was a science fair!”

Or, “The license branch line was a total science fair.”

Or my current favorite -- “Our basement is a complete science fair.”

(More on that soon.)

You have no idea how many times I have typed those words here and had to delete them because you all would wonder what in the word I am speaking to you.

No more. Now that you are in the know, let me introduce you to my latest science fair. Many of you ask if I ever have a project go wrong. Yes. I do. But I do my best to roll with it and make it work. Like I did with this table. It turned out GORG.

I told you the other day  how I switched some art around from our foyer and family room. Since the day I brought that Ballard Designs art home, I have wanted one of those cool art lights shining down on it.

Since just switching out the art was FREE, and we can always use more light in our family room anyway, I decided to splurge and finally get one.  ($26 from Lowe’s.)

It only came in brass and brushed nickel, so I just spray painted it:

In oil rubbed bronze of course. ;) As you can see if you look carefully, my spray paint job left much to be desired. It looks good from the front, but a mess in the back.

Ah well. I was OK with that. No one will look at it from the back. If you ever come to my house, please don’t look at it from the back.

My only hesitation with this light was the cord issue. You know how I much I desperately despise cords. With a serious, burning passion. So I really didn’t want to see the cord hanging down behind the art. Since my cord trick with the flat screen TV worked so great, I got a wild hair and decided to put more holes in the wall.

Brilliant.

I drilled a hole at the top that would go behind the art. I was all giddy in my cord hiding bliss – then I drilled the lower hole so I could pull the cord through and plug it in.

Giddy.

Then couldn’t get the blasted cord snaked through the wall. I tried and tried, but it wasn’t coming through. I finally gave up on it, after about six tries. I was left with this:

Oh yeah, and one down below too. (Both have since been covered.) Perfect little round holes. In my wall. Two. Actually, more like six. I had to hang the light twice to get it in the right spot. OK, more like eight holes. But only two are large. Oh dear Lord.

Soooo…I have cords showing.

That’s right, I said it. I have cords showing.

I tried to hide them as best I could:

 

I know. Just say it out loud. I know you can see it. Plain as day.

I’ve lost my mind. I’m OK with it.

Come on, you don’t see it right? RIGHT?

  

It’s there just cackling at me. Every time I walk by.

To add to all this, I was a total dunce and just taped over the light bulbs, instead of just taking them out before I spray painted, so when I went to finally turn on the stinking thing and bask in the pretty over-the-art-light…nothing came on.

BOTH bulbs were burned out because the spray paint must have gotten on them.

So I couldn’t even enjoy this bleeping pretty light until the next day, after another Lowe’s trip.

I don’t know if it was worth all that, but I do love it:

Two words: 

Science fair.

Say it yourself a few times. I guarantee you’ll be using this term tomorrow. All. day. long.

Like, “This chick who writes a decorating blog I read is a total science fair.”

And before anyone yells at me – the electrician is coming. (No, not just to deal with this.) And I will get my cord hidden. Oh yes. I will.

So, are there terms you use that no one else gets? I’m not alone, right?

 

P.S. I plan to post the how to on our stairs this weekend. And don’t forget about the next Before and After linky party on Monday!

Oh, and if you want to laugh HARD, read the comments from this week’s giveaway below. I love kids! :) The giveaway is open until tomorrow at noon. (Eastern time.)